Crazy Is A Four Letter Word

I feel so crazy. I feel so crazy. I feel so bad. Everything inside me is bad. Everything around me is bad. The world is bad and so am I. Everything is evil and everything hurts. Everything hurts. I sit on my chair and the Bad just oozes out of me, seeping out of my every pore…but it doesn’t leave me. It doesn’t leave. There’s too much of it inside of me for it to ever drain out completely… it taints everything I touch, it destroys everything I can imagine. There’s so much of it inside me… there’s so much and I can’t kill it. I can’t kill it. I can’t kill me. It has poisoned my heart and my mind. My mind is not mine anymore. My heart hurts so much. It hurts so much. It misses the days where everything  was clean and pure and innocent. It is crying, it is weeping black tears…my mind is gone. It was taken  from me and I don’t know where it is being held. I feel so crazy. Writing this makes me feel even crazier but what choice do I have? My heart hurts so much. I know there is a way out but I just can’t find it. I can’t find home. I can’t find my way back. Is that the answer? To push my way onwards and not back? But where is onwards? Where is it? Where is The Future? What is it? What does this future contain? I can’t shape a future without my mind. My mind used to exist alongside me, but it is gone and it has killed my future. I just want help. I want someone to say No, your mind is not gone for good. Yes, it has temporarily vacated the premises, but you can get it back. And you will get it back. You can do it, because it is entirely possible. And I will help you. I will help you. I will help you find your mind again. You are not crazy.