Thoughts once so prevalent in my being
that only serve to overwhelm me, plague me, hurt me
Would they still be in my head
or would they have gone someplace far, far, away
never to return?
Would they linger, bits and pieces festering in corners
of a rickety mind, eating away at the little I have left?
Or would they have grudgingly packed up shop
and slowly but surely left
no doubt leaving behind a mess
only for New Thoughts to move in and make the place
shiny and clean and vibrant again?
New Thoughts that pull back the curtains
to let my skin learn the presence of warm sunlight
New Thoughts that venture to open the windows
for welcome fresh air and the tender sounds of the world around:
traffic, chatter, laughter, breeze…
The hubbub of daily life that used to come at me so threatening
now only the tranquil hum of everyday noise;
steadily chasing out any remnants of the mustiness and fragility and pain
that have made themselves comfortable for far too long?
New Thoughts that greet the ringing of the doorbell
with curiosity or excitement or just plain nonchalance, not uneasiness and anxiety?
New Thoughts would swing the door open, fairly unguarded
welcoming visitors with open arms and a genuine smile,
and a How have you been, I’ve missed you so?
Me? I’ve been doing good, I’ve been doing good.
Old Thoughts would have cowered.
They would have dragged their feet to the door,
tugging at their skin and their hair and their clothes,
fervently trying to rub the sleep out of their eyes
(old thoughts are always in bed)
They would have fixed a smile on their face
before hugging their arms to their bodies,
protecting themselves from this intrusion:
Why are you here? What do you want? What do you want?
You are going to hurt me. You are going to hurt me.
Please, would someone tell me
Where do thoughts go?
Do they dissipate out my ears into the air
or do they trickle down round my legs
weigh me down and tend to stick around?