On good days they’d trail meekly behind me
as I stride down the street
(almost!) never giving them a second thought.
On bad ones they’d hover around me
mania in their eyes and cruelty in their smiles
and breathe down my neck
I cover my ears and squeeze my eyes shut but
I can’t get their voices out of my head.
On good days they’re in the breeze
that go through my hair
nothing more than a passing memory
of what I once was.
On bad ones they’re in the hollows of my eyes
that smart with a lack of sleep again
as I stare at the bright lights of cars at an intersection.
I feel so crazy. I feel so crazy. I feel so bad. Everything inside me is bad. Everything around me is bad. The world is bad and so am I. Everything is evil and everything hurts. Everything hurts. I sit on my chair and the Bad just oozes out of me, seeping out of my every pore…but it doesn’t leave me. It doesn’t leave. There’s too much of it inside of me for it to ever drain out completely… it taints everything I touch, it destroys everything I can imagine. There’s so much of it inside me… there’s so much and I can’t kill it. I can’t kill it. I can’t kill me. It has poisoned my heart and my mind. My mind is not mine anymore. My heart hurts so much. It hurts so much. It misses the days where everything was clean and pure and innocent. It is crying, it is weeping black tears…
Broken pieces of a plate gathered in a room
are no more whole than broken pieces of a plate
scattered across the ocean.